W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Absent New Starter

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Absent New Starter

  Dear Darcus, A new starter I have just hired was supposed to start work on Monday morning at 10am. The new employee unfortunately didn’t turn up and when we finally got hold of her later that day she said she forgot she had a new job. I decided to give her a second chance…

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The annoying co-worker everybody in the office hates – but why?

The annoying co-worker everybody in the office hates – but why?

  Tim was the guy in the office that everybody hated. Every working day Tim clocked in at exactly 8:00am and clocked out at 5:00am. In between those hours you were lucky if you ever saw him working. It was because of him that the company no longer did a Secret Santa at Christmas, catered monthly…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Bank Robber?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Bank Robber?

  So, you’ve just been asked to clear out your desk and are currently being escorted from the premises by one of the company’s security staff. Tears well up in your eyes as you contemplate having to cancel your Netflix subscription. There’ll be no more spending ridiculous amounts of money in app stores and every…

Features, Unemployed , ,

Coca-Cola changes its flavour and introduces New Coke in 1985

Coca-Cola changes its flavour and introduces New Coke in 1985

  Back in April 1985, Coca-Cola reformulated the taste of their iconic drink in an attempt to boost its then dwindling market share as customers flocked to buy the range of new diet soft drinks that had recently hit the market. Coca-Cola’s arch enemy Pepsi was also in ascendance as customers seemed to prefer the…

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Harrods luxury water can be used in a multitude of ways (so it should at £80 a bottle)

Harrods luxury water can be used in a multitude of ways (so it should at £80 a bottle)

  Harrods insist their new £80 bottles of, ‘luxury water,’ have multiple uses beyond simply making dinner guests feel guilty about asking for a glass whilst choking on a bit of meat that has gone down the wrong hole.   The 750ml bottles of Svalbarði Polar Iceberg Water are harvested from icebergs in the Arctic…

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Hangovers set to increase at Lloyds of London due to lunchtime drinking ban

Hangovers set to increase at Lloyds of London due to lunchtime drinking ban

  Hangovers are set to increase exponentially at Lloyds of London after its HR department introduced a ban on lunchtime drinking.   Staff at one of London’s most historic financial institutions could face the sack if caught breaking the new rules and as a result have taken to getting pissed after work like fish that…

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‘People that buy porn also like looking at pictures of naked women,’ says Playboy

‘People that buy porn also like looking at pictures of naked women,’ says Playboy

  Playboy magazine has revealed that people who buy pornography are also more than a bit partial to looking at pictures of naked women.   The surprising revelation came to light as Playboy announced it will bring full frontal nudity back to its pages after realising that purchasing a pornographic magazine with no pictures of…

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Waitrose admit their Shepherd’s Pie doesn’t contain any trace of Shepherd meat

Waitrose admit their Shepherd’s Pie doesn’t contain any trace of Shepherd meat

    Waitrose have admitted their Shepherd’s Pie doesn’t contain even the slightest trace of shepherd meat.   More than 4,200 people labelled, ‘Waitrose British Shepherd’s Pie,’ which is made with New Zealand Lamb as, ‘unacceptable,’ and, ‘a lie,’ in a recent poll conducted on Twitter. Waitrose’ Head of Product Packaging Mr. Reg Retail-Pryce said,…

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Arsene Wenger considering a move to join Royal Bank of Scotland

Arsene Wenger considering a move to join Royal Bank of Scotland

    Royal Bank of Scotland announced its ninth consecutive year of multi-billion pound losses which means the only thing in the universe that has been associated with the colour red for a longer period of time is Arsene Wenger.   The state owned bank managed to rack up losses of £2.5 billion in the…

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“Shoplifting is our national pastime!” say Australian supermarket customers

“Shoplifting is our national pastime!” say Australian supermarket customers

  Australian retailer Coles is limiting the amount of items customers can scan at their self-service tills after 22,000 shoplifters got caught in the past 12 months.   Despite a few Australians expressing shock and dismay at the recent crime wave, the vast majority claim such criminality should be respected as a cultural tradition alongside beating…

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