You’ve just been sacked………why not become an RAF fighter pilot?

You’ve just been sacked………why not become an RAF fighter pilot?

  So, you are now sans emploi, Zonder een baan, Senza lavoro, ohne Arbeit, sin empleo or as we say to people that have just been sacked from The W1nners’ Club – without a job. The coming months will be fraught with difficulty as you gradually scale back on things like Fitness First or Virgin…

Features, Unemployed , , ,

The 8 filthiest songs to play during work hours on your computer speakers

The 8 filthiest songs to play during work hours on your computer speakers

  Playing a bit of music in the workplace is as much a part of working life as cigarette breaks and hangovers. It’s important however, that the music you play on your desktop speakers is relevant for the type of people that work in your office. Here at The W1nners’ Club, half our staff get…

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Daimler Chrysler merger fails due to cultural differences

Daimler Chrysler merger fails due to cultural differences

  Back in May 1998, the top brass at car giants Daimler-Benz and Chrysler announced the biggest cross-border merger in industrial history. The rationale at the time was quite clear. Chrysler languishing in third place in the Detroit Big Three, was struggling to maintain its productivity and world standing.  The more prestigious Daimler Benz on…

Business Blunders , , , ,

Gin to be used as a mixer for Fever Tree Tonic Water

Gin to be used as a mixer for Fever Tree Tonic Water

  Fever Tree Tonic Water is now so valuable that gin will be used as the mixer in drinks that contain it going forward.   A thimble full of the stuff is said to be worth more than its equivalent weight in unicorn tears, fairy saliva and dodo droppings according to a recent financial study. Fever…

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Ikea tries to self-assemble its new Chief Executive

Ikea tries to self-assemble its new Chief Executive

  Ikea has tried to self-assemble its new Chief Executive rather than bring someone in from outside the company.   Despite being given assurances that the instructions would be easy to follow, the new Chief Executive has thus far proven a less-than-flattering advert for the furniture store’s flatpack self-assembly USP. IKEA’s Head of Flatpack Assembly…

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Church of England sets up its own stock broking division

Church of England sets up its own stock broking division

  The Church of England has set up its own stock broking division after recent investment successes placed it in the top ranks of the world’s best performing financial players.   The Church has returned 9.6% a year for the past 30 years on average and cites divine intervention as the main reason for its…

News , , , ,

Samsung S8 phone’s facial recognition system may have to start wearing glasses

Samsung S8 phone’s facial recognition system may have to start wearing glasses

  The facial recognition system in the new Samsung S8 smartphone may require glasses before it can be used properly.   The facial recognition technology which includes an iris-scanner, can be used to unlock the phone simply by looking at it – unfortunately however, the phone has the equivalent eyesight of a bat with cataracts…

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Ford’s first wi-fi software upgrade doesn’t quite go according to plan

Ford’s first wi-fi software upgrade doesn’t quite go according to plan

  Ford’s first ever attempt at conducting an over-the-air software upgrade hasn’t quite gone according to plan.   The company’s maiden foray into the growing arena of “over-the-air” software updates has allegedly resulted in the creation of a Raleigh Chopper as a result of a suspected bug in the system. Ford’s Head of Wi-Fi Connectivity…

News ,

England footballer David Beckham gets sent off in the 1998 World Cup

England footballer David Beckham gets sent off in the 1998 World Cup

  Have you ever made a mistake at work that later went on to become the making of you? Perhaps you said something to the boss’s wife at the Christmas party and only found out later on that it was indeed the boss’s wife. Maybe you had an argument with a client over the phone…

Celebrity , , ,

Customer Feedback Form – Hotel Guest

Customer Feedback Form – Hotel Guest

  We are constantly trying to improve the level of service we provide, and ask that you take a minute to tell us how we are doing and what we can do to improve. How happy were you with your stay at our hotel?  (1 = delighted – 5 = very unhappy) 1 2 3…

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