10 warning signs that must have been erected by a complete and utter jobsworth

10 warning signs that must have been erected by a complete and utter jobsworth

They say the devil is in the detail and some people are so committed to their jobs that they can’t help but do things by the book – even if the book contains absolutely no mention of the rules they are trying to enforce. Whether it’s a tube station guard that would happily chase a…

Features, Office Life , , ,

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a UFC champion?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a UFC champion?

  Welcome to the world of being unemployed. You don’t have a job because in all honesty you should never really have been given one by your previous employer in the first place. You gave a good interview but when you said you wanted to be sat at the board table in 5 years time, they…

Features, Unemployed , ,

10 sayings a manager should never use unless you want to sound like David Brent

10 sayings a manager should never use unless you want to sound like David Brent

  Management is a skill that requires you to deliver instructions to your team members in the most efficient way possible. There often isn’t the time available to construct bespoke phrases for every situation you face, so rather than telling a member of your team to: “Call the client and get their preliminary thoughts about…

Employed, Features , , ,

News Corps oversees the demise of Myspace

News Corps oversees the demise of Myspace

  Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation acquired Myspace in July 2005 for $580 million. Myspace was the largest social networking site in the world at the time and by June 2006 it had overtaken Google as the most visited website in the United States. At its peak in 2007, Myspace was valued at $12 billion but…

Business Blunders , ,

Concerns raised over Snapchat’s Cristiano Ronaldo filter

Concerns raised over Snapchat’s Cristiano Ronaldo filter

  Concerns have been raised over Snapchat’s Champions League final Cristiano Ronaldo lens which lets fans apply a real-time filter to their selfies to show support for their favourite team.   The Cristiano Ronaldo lens is rumoured to be modelled on his bronze statue that stands in Madeira airport and will give fans the opportunity…

News , , ,

EU prays for less UK stag and hen parties after Brexit

EU prays for less UK stag and hen parties after Brexit

  In the wake of the UK’s decision to leave the EU, many European countries have been hoping for fewer British stag and hen parties visiting them as the pound continues to decrease in value.   In the first quarter of 2017 however, the numbers travelling abroad from the UK rose 3 per cent from…

News , , , ,

Burger King stages a military coup to become supreme leader of Belgium

Burger King stages a military coup to become supreme leader of Belgium

  Burger King has staged a military coup and illegally crowned itself supreme leader of Belgium.   The food chain initially attempted to seize power through democratic means by asking Belgians to vote online to “crown” either the country’s king or the global fast-food giant the true ruler of the country. Burger King’s Head of…

News , , ,

British Airways says its IT system will no longer be susceptible to power failures

British Airways says its IT system will no longer be susceptible to power failures

  British Airways has said that upgrades to its IT system will make it less susceptible to power failures in the future.   The airline claims to be “much closer to full operational capacity than at any point over the last few days” which is a bit like claiming to be on the last leg…

News , ,

Notice of disciplinary meeting – Supermarket Shelf Stacker

Notice of disciplinary meeting – Supermarket Shelf Stacker

  Date 26/05/2017   Dear Lucifer, I am writing to tell you that you are required to attend a disciplinary meeting on Monday morning at 9am which is to be held in my office. At this meeting the question of disciplinary action against you, in accordance with the Company Disciplinary Procedure, will be considered with…

Features, Human Resources , , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I want to be an Emo

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I want to be an Emo

  Dear Darcus, I am the Managing Director of a stationery wholesaler in East Grinstead but I have secret desires to be an Emo and turn up to work looking like I don’t care about what people think of me. If I die my hair black and start wearing a dog collar with large metal spikes…

Features, Problem Page , ,