TSB customers with glass eyes express concern over iris recognition technology

TSB customers with glass eyes express concern over iris recognition technology

  TSB customers with glass eyes have expressed their outrage at the bank’s plan to introduce iris recognition as a way of unlocking its online banking app.   TSB customers will be able to use their phone’s built-in iris scanner to log into their account by glancing at their phone instead of inputting an ID…

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Rail operators take the monumental step of referring to late trains as ‘late’

Rail operators take the monumental step of referring to late trains as ‘late’

  Britain’s rail companies have finally agreed to engage the full power of the English language and take the gargantuan step of referring to late trains as ‘late.’   In an overhaul of the semantic gerrymandering that was previously endemic in the rail industry, trains that turn up on time will no longer be referred…

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Audi says women are not like used cars because they don’t get any cheaper with age

Audi says women are not like used cars because they don’t get any cheaper with age

  Audi has stated unequivocally that it does not think women are like used cars because it says they don’t get any cheaper with age.   The auto manufacturer has been criticised for an advert in China that compares buying a car to finding a wife and shows a woman having her nose, ears and…

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Ashley Madison unable to award compensation in case partners find out

Ashley Madison unable to award compensation in case partners find out

  Infidelity website Ashley Madison is unable to pay compensation to victims of its recent hacking scandal because the vast majority of them fear getting found out by their partners.   Millions of members had their personal details stolen when the site’s data was breached and despite offering out $11 million in compensation, most users…

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Easyjet boss makes an ironic pledge to start her new job as Head of ITV ‘without delay’

Easyjet boss makes an ironic pledge to start her new job as Head of ITV ‘without delay’

  Easyjet Chief Executive Carolyn McCall has announced that she will step down from her current role to take up a position as the new Head of ITV.   Despite the TV channel’s former boss leaving in June of this year, it is thought that Ms. McCall won’t be taking up her new position until…

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Jarvis Cocker flashes his bum during Michael Jackson’s 1996 Brit Awards performance

Jarvis Cocker flashes his bum during Michael Jackson’s 1996 Brit Awards performance

Have you ever rushed the stage at an industry awards dinner and flashed your bottom at the crowd in protest at the way one of your colleagues was behaving? No – us neither (rather surprisingly). If you have however, you’re not alone in your disruptive behaviour. Former Pulp frontman and soon-to-be national treasure Jarvis Cocker,…

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Letter of enquiry to a GP regarding likely cause of absence – Electric Shock At Work

Letter of enquiry to a GP regarding likely cause of absence – Electric Shock At Work

Doctor’s name: Dr.  Aaron Jones                        Date: 14/07/2017 Address: The Surgery, Amunsden Hil, Port Sunlight Postcode: CH62 5DG PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER IF THERE IS LIKELY TO BE ANY DELAY IN REPLYING Re: Likelihood of return to work Name: Barry Thompson Address: 65 Tudorville Rd, Bebbington To administer Statutory Sick Pay, and the…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Colleagues are jealous of me

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Colleagues are jealous of me

  Dear Darcus, My colleagues are jealous of me because my dad owns the company, I went travelling for a year and when I came back I was given a seat on the board. Should I make their lives a living hell in revenge?   Dear Reader, It’s not what you know in life that…

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10 workplace thoughts expressed by mime artists

10 workplace thoughts expressed by mime artists

A picture tells a thousand words because our gestures and facial expressions say as much about how we’re feeling as the words we use when speaking – more even! Mime artists have perfected the art of conveying emotion through physical movement to such a degree that they don’t require words to tell their stories. As…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a professional tennis champion?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a professional tennis champion?

There are various things you can do when you first lose your job. You can either: Cry. Buy a bottle whisky and then cry after consuming half of it in the time it takes to drink a double measure. Cry, then buy a bottle of whisky and consume the lot in 5 gulps before crying…

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