Morris dance troupe to headline this year’s Tory Glastonbury

Morris dance troupe to headline this year’s Tory Glastonbury

  The headline act for this year’s Tory Glastonbury will be a troupe of blacked-up Morris dancers The W1nners’ Club can reveal.   The one day event being held in September will comprise four main stages namely: The Maypole Stage, The Cake Stall, The Tug-of-War and a tiny stand selling locally produced items such as…

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Bill Clinton denies then later admits having an affair with Monica Lewinsky

Bill Clinton denies then later admits having an affair with Monica Lewinsky

Have you ever been caught having an affair with a colleague and publicly denied that anything happened before having to do a complete about turn by owning up to it? If you have, don’t worry because you’re not alone. US President Bill Clinton had an affair with 22 year old intern Monica Lewinsky that caused…

Celebrity , , ,

Appraisal form – Sewer Cleaner

Appraisal form – Sewer Cleaner

  Employee’s name: Mr. Sanjeev Gupta Job title: Sewer Cleaner Department: Environmental Health Date of engagement: 03/05/2017 Manager: Mrs. Pauline Jones Date of meeting: 03/08/2017 Current performance   Objective/competence 1:   Being prepared to climb down a stinking manhole without being thrown in. Objective/competence 2: Not begging to come out straight away. Objective/competence 3: Not…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Addicted to sacking people

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Addicted to sacking people

    Dear Darcus, I think I’m addicted to sacking people. The first time I had to let someone go I was terrified and didn’t know what to say to them, particularly when the ex-employee burst into tears but now I’m slightly embarrassed to say that I rather enjoy it. I sometimes find that I…

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How to deal with difficult customers like Craig Feldspar from Malcolm in the Middle would

How to deal with difficult customers like Craig Feldspar from Malcolm in the Middle would

If you’re lucky / unfortunate (delete as appropriate) enough to work in retail, you’ll know that difficult customers are part and parcel of the daily grind. Whilst it’s too easy to immediately lose your temper and start insulting shoppers every time they annoy you, your commitment to your employer and more importantly, to paying the…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not become the next Dynamo?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become the next Dynamo?

Here are the main reasons why being unemployed can be a whole load of fun: You don’t have to get up early in the morning to go to work. You get loads of free stuff from the government like dental treatment and bus passes. You can binge watch The Jeremy Kyle Show. You can spend…

Features, Unemployed , ,

How to hide a secret message inside a Powerpoint presentation

How to hide a secret message inside a Powerpoint presentation

There are numerous reasons why you would need to send a secret message to a colleague in the workplace. You may be having an affair and don’t want the snoopers in the I.T. department to know your intimate business. You might have a disciplinary hearing coming up and will need to get your version of…

Employed, Features , , ,

Grandmaster Caz writes the lyrics for Rapper’s Delight but doesn’t get credited

Grandmaster Caz writes the lyrics for Rapper’s Delight but doesn’t get credited

Curtis Fisher, better known by the stage name Grandmaster Caz, is an American rapper, songwriter and DJ. It’s widely known that he wrote a significant portion of the lyrics for The Sugar Hill Gang’s seminal hit Rapper’s Delight, yet never received a writing credit of any kind for his contribution to the song. In 2000,…

Business Blunders , , ,

FTSE 100 CEOs have to work a full 160 minutes to earn the average worker salary

FTSE 100 CEOs have to work a full 160 minutes to earn the average worker salary

  FTSE 100 CEOs have expressed shock and dismay upon finding out they have to work a whole 160 minutes to earn the average worker’s salary.   The Office for National Statistics says that average annual earnings for full-time employees in the year to April 2016 was £28,000 meaning the bosses of Britain’s top stock…

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World record Neymar transfer includes free tickets for the Eiffel Tower

World record Neymar transfer includes free tickets for the Eiffel Tower

  Neymar has agreed a world record breaking transfer to Paris Saint-Germain that is said to include free tickets up the Eiffel Tower according to a W1nners’ Club source.   Neymar decided to leave Barcelona upon being offered a deal worth nearly £450m that includes wages of £515,000 a week, bonuses, a buyout clause of…

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