Julian Clary makes a joke about ‘fisting’ ex-Chancellor of the Exchequer Norman Lamont

Julian Clary makes a joke about ‘fisting’ ex-Chancellor of the Exchequer Norman Lamont

Have you ever damaged your career by making a rude joke whilst announcing the winner at an industry awards conference? If you have, you’re not alone. Gay TV comic icon Julian Clary made a rude joke about the then Chancellor of the Exchequer Norman Lamont whom Clary claimed he had just been ‘fisting,’ after comparing…

Celebrity , , , ,

Notice of disciplinary meeting – Council Tree Planting Department

Notice of disciplinary meeting – Council Tree Planting Department

Date: 11/11/2017   Dear Robert, I am writing to tell you that you are required to attend a disciplinary meeting on Monday at 9am regarding tree planting which is to be held in my office. At this meeting the question of disciplinary action against you, in accordance with Disciplinary Procedure, will be considered with regard…

Features, Human Resources , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Sunglasses in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Sunglasses in the office

  Dear Darcus, I can’t help wearing sunglasses in the office. I’m a huge fan of Roy Orbison and he always wore shades whether he was indoors or outdoors and nobody thought it was in any way strange. When I do it however, all my employees think it’s hypocritical when I tell them that it’s…

Features, Problem Page , , , ,

10 of the most adorable office dogs we could find on the internet

10 of the most adorable office dogs we could find on the internet

No modern office is complete without the obligatory office dog. Whether the boss brings their pet in to work every day to keep everybody de-stressed or if the dog in question is used as a deterrent for anyone that doesn’t toe the line, having a dog wandering about in the average office is as common…

Features, Office Life , ,

You’ve just been sacked…………why not build your own search engine?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not build your own search engine?

Do you remember the last time you opened up an excel spreadsheet? The last time you flicked a rubber band at a colleague or the last time you had to get an Uber home after work because that ‘swift pint’ you were convinced by your colleagues to indulge in ended at 4am on a Tuesday…

Features, Unemployed , ,

How to start your own business and become a squillionaire

How to start your own business and become a squillionaire

So – you’ve got a good idea have you? That all day bank holiday drinking session at The Dog and Duck wasn’t a total waste of money after all it would seem. You and your mates may have put away enough booze to drown a blue whale, but unlike your bank account, you haven’t come…

Employed, Features , ,

Johan de Witt hands Manhattan over to Britain in exchange for nutmeg

Johan de Witt hands Manhattan over to Britain in exchange for nutmeg

The European powers were involved in bitter power struggles during the 17th century as they all vied for control of the international spice trade. Central to the constant conflict was the desire to gain access to the supply of nutmeg.   Nutmeg was valued for much more than its mere taste at that time and…

Business Blunders , , ,

Mary Portas towns resemble Hill Valley in Back to the Future II

Mary Portas towns resemble Hill Valley in Back to the Future II

  A survey of 12 government-funded “Portas Pilot” towns found that nearly all of them resemble the alternate Hill Valley from Back to the Future II.   The towns were awarded a share of a £1.2m fund, government support and access to retail guru Mary Portas who has single handedly turned them into no go…

News , , , ,

Will.i.am A.I. voice assistant comes with MC rap battle functionality

Will.i.am A.I. voice assistant comes with MC rap battle functionality

  A new A.I. voice assistant launched by Will.i.am comes with an MC rap battle functionality The W1nners’ Club can reveal.   The new artificial intelligence product, similar to Apple’s Siri and Amazon’s Alexa – will insult everything about you from your mother, right down to the clothes you wear and the way you speak…

News , , ,

New Nutella formula may be sweeter than Hayley Joel Osment in Forest Gump

New Nutella formula may be sweeter than Hayley Joel Osment in Forest Gump

  The new Nutella formula may now be considerably sweeter than Hayley Joel Osment’s character in Forrest Gump according to scientists.   Nutella aficionados have voiced anger at the new formula which some say is right up there with the little girl from St. Winifred’s School Choir who sang the lead part on their hit…

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