Marks & Spencer admits its cauliflower steak hasn’t been tested for mad cow disease

Marks & Spencer admits its cauliflower steak hasn’t been tested for mad cow disease

  Marks and Spencer has finally admitted that its cauliflower steak has not been tested for mad cow disease The W1nners’ Club can reveal.   The veggie steak which consists of two slices of cauliflower and a lemon and herb drizzle, was being sold for £2 and is apparently to steak what David Beckham is…

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H&M launches a black and white minstrel clothing range for kids

H&M launches a black and white minstrel clothing range for kids

H&M this week announced the launch of its new black and white minstrel clothing range for children. The new kids’ clothing line is based on several different character sub-ranges that draw their inspiration from the old black and white minstrel shows of pre-abolitionist America and will feature such monikers as Mammy, Old Darky, Sambo and…

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Coca Cola insists smaller bottles + higher prices = less sugar

Coca Cola insists smaller bottles + higher prices = less sugar

  Coca Cola remains convinced that by reducing the size of its bottles and increasing the price of the product, the amount of sugar contained in its famous recipe will somehow decrease as if by magic.   The changes will see a 1.75 litre bottle of Coke shrink down to 1.5 litres and the price…

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United Airlines passenger undertakes dirty protest to obtain full price ticket status

United Airlines passenger undertakes dirty protest to obtain full price ticket status

  A United Airlines passenger undertook a one man dirty protest whilst aboard a flight from Chicago to Hong Kong in an attempt to obtain the same ‘special category’ status as passengers that had paid the full fare for their journey.   United Airlines flight 895 was diverted to Alaska after the passenger smeared faeces…

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Investors abandon bitcoin in favour of rail season ticket speculation

Investors abandon bitcoin in favour of rail season ticket speculation

  Investors have been offloading their bitcoins en masse in favour of buying a rail season ticket The W1nners’ Club can reveal.   Prices have increased by 3.4% across the UK in the biggest increase to train fares since 2013 and savvy speculators have realised that this makes the average rail season ticket more profitable…

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Simon Brodkin joins Man City warm-up dressed as Jason Bent

Simon Brodkin joins Man City warm-up dressed as Jason Bent

Have you ever illegally entered another company’s premises and tried to mingle with your competitors in the hope of not being noticed? If you have, you’re not alone. Serial prankster Simon Brodkin managed to sneak onto the pitch at Goodison Park and warm up with the Manchester City squad before their 2013 away match against…

Celebrity , ,

Assessment of potential for promotion – Trainee Welder

Assessment of potential for promotion – Trainee Welder

Name: Tony Barnes Job title: Trainee Welder Department: Security Gate Construction Length of time in post: 6 months Date of appraisal: _05_/_01_/_2018_ Section A Assessment of potential: Not fitted at present for further promotion Not fitted at present but likely to become fitted within the next two years Fitted for promotion Section B Employee’s aspirations:…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I can’t stand pricing products at £9.99

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I can’t stand pricing products at £9.99

  Dear Darcus, I can’t stand pricing the products in my retail store at £9.99 when all I have to do is add on an extra penny and all of a sudden you get a lovely whole number price of £10. The shareholders often accuse me of putting my own peculiarities before the success of…

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10 alternative trains that would make your daily commute more interesting

10 alternative trains that would make your daily commute more interesting

Everyone knows that the hardest part of the working day is often the daily commute. If you didn’t have to do it, it would cut your working day by a couple of hours in most cases. On top of that there are delays, cancellations and packed carriages to contend with – all before the boss…

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You’ve just been sacked………why not build your own nuclear bomb?

You’ve just been sacked………why not build your own nuclear bomb?

One of the great things about being unemployed is you have the time to truly indulge those ideas you have always had, but perhaps never had the chance to deploy because of work commitments. That musical instrument you wanted to learn, that book you wanted to write or that drug you wanted to try –…

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