Former Volkswagen executive somehow keeps passing prison drug tests

Former Volkswagen executive somehow keeps passing prison drug tests

  A former Volkswagen executive sentenced to seven years in prison as a result of the diesel emissions scandal somehow manages to pass all the drug tests inside.   Oliver Schmidt is the second person to be imprisoned in the US over the diesel emissions scandal and fellow prisoners have complained that he often wanders…

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Next men’s underwear to be sold at Tesco deli counters

Next men’s underwear to be sold at Tesco deli counters

  Tesco is set to start selling Next men’s underwear at its deli counters in an attempt to woo in-store customers who may be in desperate need of a change of pants.   Britain’s largest supermarket chain recently struck a deal with the high-street fashion brand to use the extra space in its larger stores,…

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Morrisons chicken and mushroom pie has had all the fish bones removed

Morrisons chicken and mushroom pie has had all the fish bones removed

  Morrisons has confirmed that its “Traditional Chicken and Mushroom Pie” always has the fish bones removed during the production process.   The Food Standards Agency says that the supermarket’s pies are a possible health risk for anyone that has an allergy to mustard and/or fish, but Morrisons has said that the chicken and mushroom…

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“Stop polluting the oceans with plastic you f*cking idiots!” say marine animals

“Stop polluting the oceans with plastic you f*cking idiots!” say marine animals

  Marine animals have issued a statement to the United Nations that unequivocally states humans should, ‘stop polluting the oceans with plastic you f*cking idiots!’   The statement was made in light of a UN resolution that has no timetable and is not legally binding, so marine animals have taken it upon themselves to tell…

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Brexit still means Brexit which now means something completely different to Brexit

Brexit still means Brexit which now means something completely different to Brexit

  The government has confirmed that Brexit still means Brexit, but the new Brexit may appear to resemble something completely different to what one would immediately recognise as being Brexit.   As talks on the issue of the Northern Irish border with the Republic of Ireland stalled once again, the government is keen to reassure…

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Oliver Reed causes Channel 4 show After Dark to be pulled from air

Oliver Reed causes Channel 4 show After Dark to be pulled from air

Have you ever disrupted a workplace meeting because you had way too much to drink beforehand? If you have, you’re not alone. Late night, midweek Channel 4 show After Dark booked the hellraising actor Oliver Reed to appear on a broadcast that was transmitted on 26th January 1991. The show’s format was a panel discussion…

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Accident Report Book – Delivery Driver

Accident Report Book – Delivery Driver

1.    About the person who had the accident: Name: Paul Wilson Address: 27 Willoughbury Lane, Dulverton, Somerset Postcode: TA67 4JD Occupation:  Delivery Driver 2.    About you the person filling in this record: Complete if you did not have the accident: Name: Address: Postcode: Occupation: 3.    About the accident: Say when it happened: Date: 30/11/2017 Time:…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish I was living in an alternative reality

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish I was living in an alternative reality

  Dear Darcus, I keep waking up every morning hoping that I am living in an alternative reality. The reason for this is that a while ago I wrote a letter to my future self urging me to go back in time if this becomes possible and visit my past self to urge me to…

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10 images of art gallery visitors who dress like the paintings they are viewing

10 images of art gallery visitors who dress like the paintings they are viewing

For those of you out there that work in an art gallery, your world is a constant interaction with bold and bright colours across the average working day. Whilst this is not surprising given the fact that you display fine art pieces for a living, when gallery attendees turn up that look almost identical to…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not buy a premier league football club?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not buy a premier league football club?

The hours between 9am and 5pm now hold no more significance for you than any other 8 hour period of the day. This is because for some time now you’ve been asleep for the period between 9am and 5pm and wide awake for the rest of the day/night. The only way this strange nocturnal lifestyle…

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