Vince Cable says the government should issue vindaloo visas and poppadum passes

Vince Cable says the government should issue vindaloo visas and poppadum passes

  Vince Cable has called for the government to issue vindaloo visas and poppadum passes so that people of his age can obtain free access to a decent curry now and again.   The Liberal Democrat leader used a speech at the British Curry Awards to back the move to get more retired people eating…

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Toblerone signs a deal to be featured in the next series of Twin Peaks

Toblerone signs a deal to be featured in the next series of Twin Peaks

  The producers of Twin Peaks have announced that they have signed a product placement deal that will feature Toblerone in the new series of the Mystery drama television show.   Toblerone’s specially made, ‘Twin Peaks’ chocolate bar that was designed especially for the new series, will sell for just £1 and will be available…

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McDonald’s has a McGold card for people that will never need a McGold card

McDonald’s has a McGold card for people that will never need a McGold card

  McDonald’s has a McGold card that entitles cardholders to unlimited free meals from its fast food restaurants – but they are only available to people that can prove they will never need to own a McGold card.   With a combined wealth at just shy of $200 billion, Warren Buffett and Bill Gates are…

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UK water companies use witchcraft to decide customer bills

UK water companies use witchcraft to decide customer bills

  Ten of the 12 water companies in the UK have admitted that they still use the practice of witchcraft as a way to decipher how much to charge customers.   The disclosure has prompted calls for the water regulator to stop companies passing the cost of discredited pagan rituals on to their customers and…

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Jamiroquai’s Jay Kay gets headbutted during an argument over his Bentley

Jamiroquai’s Jay Kay gets headbutted during an argument over his Bentley

Have you ever been headbutted after attending a film premier as a result of your status in the industry you work in? If you have, you’re not alone. Jamiroquai frontman Jay Kay was on the receiving end of a headbutt from a paparazzi photographer after attending the London premiere of Star Wars Attack Of The…

Celebrity , ,

Petty cash voucher – new Apple computer

Petty cash voucher – new Apple computer

Voucher number: 04512 Request Information: Voucher number: 04512 Date: 24/11/2017 Amount requested: £850,000 Requested by: Simon Barnes (I.T. Purchasing) Note: Petty cash requests must not exceed £60.00 Description of Need: I have been told by the marketing team that we require an Apple computer for our in-house graphic designer, but I was told that under…

Features, Human Resources , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – The Matrix could be real

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – The Matrix could be real

  Dear Darcus, I’m not sure if anything or anyone in my office is actually real. I’m a big fan of The Matrix movies and after watching every film in the trilogy a good 30 times each, I’m starting to wonder if the films might actually be real. For example, someone asked me to help…

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8 sportspeople whose facial expressions at work make them appear constipated

8 sportspeople whose facial expressions at work make them appear constipated

So you think you’ve got it tough working in an office do you? Whilst things can get a bit stressful when project deadlines need to be met and targets are being missed, you are still within walking distance of the toilets so you can easily go for a quick power nap to avoid doing any…

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You’ve just been sacked………why not build your own Egyptian pyramid?

You’ve just been sacked………why not build your own Egyptian pyramid?

Boredom, lack of self esteem, not enough money to buy Golden Virginia tobacco, off licence has run out of Rizla papers – all of the above are familiar events in the day-to-day existence of an unemployed person. Fear not however because help is at hand. We have committed ourselves to coming up with ways to…

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How to stage your very own office Olympics

How to stage your very own office Olympics

It’s that time of the week again! The boss is away on annual leave and most people in the office have been for a liquid lunch. As you and your colleagues drunkenly slave your way through the remainder of the afternoon, it might be an idea to let go of the mouse for a minute,…

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