Govt. says Rupert Murdoch should stick to deciding general election results

Govt. says Rupert Murdoch should stick to deciding general election results

  Culture Secretary Karen Bradley has said that Rupert Murdoch should stick to deciding the UK’s general election results rather than trying to become all rich and powerful by taking over Sky.   Mr Murdoch already owns 39% of the satellite broadcaster but it is feared that a full takeover may result in the media…

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HMRC says the global cyber attack is no excuse for late tax returns

HMRC says the global cyber attack is no excuse for late tax returns

  HM Revenue and customs has said that the global cyberattack is not a good enough excuse for people that have not yet filed their tax returns.   The cyber attack that affected companies around the world may have started via corrupted updates on a piece of accountancy software and notorious late payers to the…

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Coffee chains conduct staff cavity searches in the hope of finding ice cubes

Coffee chains conduct staff cavity searches in the hope of finding ice cubes

  Major high street coffee chains will begin conducting cavity searches on staff after ice cubes at various locations have been found to contain the bacteria from faeces.   Samples of iced drinks from Costa Coffee, Starbucks and Caffe Nero contained varying levels of the bacteria, but luckily it doesn’t take a genius to work…

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Great Barrier Reef to be given same financial status as high street banks

Great Barrier Reef to be given same financial status as high street banks

  The Great Barrier Reef is to be afforded the same financial status as high street banks after being valued at $42bn.   The reef contributes significantly to the local economy and supports over 64,000 jobs so should be deemed too big to fail like many of the high street banks were during the 2008…

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Retailers give up Bond Street store leases and hope to land on free parking

Retailers give up Bond Street store leases and hope to land on free parking

  One in four retailers on London’s Bond Street have considered selling their leases in the hope of landing on free parking instead.   With parking space in the capital now costing the same as Lionel Messi’s latest tax return, Dolce & Gabbana, Hugo Boss, De Beers and DKNY are among the big brands that…

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L7 singer Donita Sparks drops her pants on 90s television show ‘The Word’

L7 singer Donita Sparks drops her pants on 90s television show ‘The Word’

Have you ever enjoyed yourself so much at work that you felt the overbearing need to remove your underwear in front of everyone else in the office? If you have, you are not alone. Donita Sparks, lead singer of grunge rock girl band L7 did just that during a now iconic performance on the UK’s…

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Assessment of potential for promotion – Stud farm operative

Assessment of potential for promotion – Stud farm operative

  Name: Sara Mcilroy Job title: Equine Fluffer Department: Ejaculatory Procurement Length of time in post: 2 years Date of appraisal: __24/__06/__2017 Section A Assessment of potential Not fitted at present for further promotion Not fitted at present but likely to become fitted within the next two years Fitted for promotion Section B Employee’s aspirations…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish I was a Wolf

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I wish I was a Wolf

  Dear Darcus, I am an IT manager from Portsmouth and recently I keep being overcome by the compulsion to behave like a wolf in the office. If someone needs a new keyboard or mouse it causes me to howl loudly and if the cloud servers need rebooting that also makes me run about on…

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How to make a cup of coffee for the smallest colleague in the world

How to make a cup of coffee for the smallest colleague in the world

  Making a cup of coffee for your colleagues is as much a part of work life etiquette as ringing in sick on a Monday morning because you’ve overdone it at the weekend or having a stand up row with somebody that works in accounts. As society recognises the need for greater diversity and inclusiveness…

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You’ve just been sacked………why not become a professional Golfer?

You’ve just been sacked………why not become a professional Golfer?

  Take a minute to remember all the things that you used to do back in the days when you had a job.  You would take a taxi or an Uber home after a night out instead of the night bus. You were a member of a gym that gave out free towels. Buying a…

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