Vodafone finally realises no one uses pagers anymore except Bill Oddie

Vodafone finally realises no one uses pagers anymore except Bill Oddie

  Vodafone is leaving the pager business after finally realising that the only person in the UK who still uses one is birdwatching aficionado Bill Oddie.   The telecoms operator agreed a deal to sell its pager division to professional services company Capita, but because the deal will leave Bill Oddie as the only person…

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My Friend Cayla Doll alleged to be a former high ranking member of The Stasi

My Friend Cayla Doll alleged to be a former high ranking member of The Stasi

  The distributor of My Friend Cayla, a talking doll which has been banned in Germany due to security concerns insists the toy has never at any point been a high ranking member of The Stasi.   Vivid GmbH has refuted allegations about My Friend Cayla that her real identity is actually Cayla Von Zersetzung,…

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Debenhams offers staff extra toilet breaks to reach national minimum wage

Debenhams offers staff extra toilet breaks to reach national minimum wage

    Debenhams has come top of the league for companies that underpay staff, so will increase the number of toilet breaks it allows in an attempt to meet the national minimum wage.   The department store chain underpaid staff £10 each on average in 2015 because of a ‘technical error on its payroll system,’…

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Notice of result of appeal against disciplinary action – Bookshop Trainee

Notice of result of appeal against disciplinary action – Bookshop Trainee

Date: 17/02/2017   Dear Harriett, You appealed against the decision of the disciplinary hearing that you be subject to disciplinary action. The appeal meeting was held on 10/02/2017. I am now writing to inform you of the decision taken by Mr. William Waterstone who conducted the appeal meeting, namely that the decision to dismiss you…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Absent New Starter

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Absent New Starter

  Dear Darcus, A new starter I have just hired was supposed to start work on Monday morning at 10am. The new employee unfortunately didn’t turn up and when we finally got hold of her later that day she said she forgot she had a new job. I decided to give her a second chance…

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The annoying co-worker everybody in the office hates – but why?

The annoying co-worker everybody in the office hates – but why?

  Tim was the guy in the office that everybody hated. Every working day Tim clocked in at exactly 8:00am and clocked out at 5:00am. In between those hours you were lucky if you ever saw him working. It was because of him that the company no longer did a Secret Santa at Christmas, catered monthly…

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You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Bank Robber?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Bank Robber?

  So, you’ve just been asked to clear out your desk and are currently being escorted from the premises by one of the company’s security staff. Tears well up in your eyes as you contemplate having to cancel your Netflix subscription. There’ll be no more spending ridiculous amounts of money in app stores and every…

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Coca-Cola changes its flavour and introduces New Coke in 1985

Coca-Cola changes its flavour and introduces New Coke in 1985

  Back in April 1985, Coca-Cola reformulated the taste of their iconic drink in an attempt to boost its then dwindling market share as customers flocked to buy the range of new diet soft drinks that had recently hit the market. Coca-Cola’s arch enemy Pepsi was also in ascendance as customers seemed to prefer the…

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Harrods luxury water can be used in a multitude of ways (so it should at £80 a bottle)

Harrods luxury water can be used in a multitude of ways (so it should at £80 a bottle)

  Harrods insist their new £80 bottles of, ‘luxury water,’ have multiple uses beyond simply making dinner guests feel guilty about asking for a glass whilst choking on a bit of meat that has gone down the wrong hole.   The 750ml bottles of Svalbarði Polar Iceberg Water are harvested from icebergs in the Arctic…

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Hangovers set to increase at Lloyds of London due to lunchtime drinking ban

Hangovers set to increase at Lloyds of London due to lunchtime drinking ban

  Hangovers are set to increase exponentially at Lloyds of London after its HR department introduced a ban on lunchtime drinking.   Staff at one of London’s most historic financial institutions could face the sack if caught breaking the new rules and as a result have taken to getting pissed after work like fish that…

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