FTSE 100 CEOs to do a bush tucker trial before receiving their annual bonus

FTSE 100 CEOs to do a bush tucker trial before receiving their annual bonus

  Company boards should justify hefty Chief Executive pay rises by forcing bosses to do a bush tucker trial in front of staff at the annual Christmas party according to business experts.   The continuing increases in pay for top executives despite often lacklustre performance has incited calls for a rethink in the way senior…

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Middle Class Shoppers Abandon Marks and Spencer in Favour of Food Banks

Middle Class Shoppers Abandon Marks and Spencer in Favour of Food Banks

  Middle Class shoppers are replacing their weekly shopping trips to Marks and Spencer with a visit to the local food bank as shelves in the store start to resemble those from soviet-era Russia.   The retailer’s suppliers have been pulling out in their droves as the battle rages on about whether the word Brexit…

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Assessment of potential for promotion – Feline Janitor

Assessment of potential for promotion – Feline Janitor

  Name: Tiddles Job title: Office Moggy and part-time janitor Department: Purr-sonnel Length of time in post: 20 minutes Date of appraisal: __13/__11/__16 Section A – Assessment of potential Not fitted at present for further promotion  Not fitted at present but likely to become fitted within the next two years  Fitted for promotion Section B…

Features, Human Resources , ,

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – CRM System abuse

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – CRM System abuse

  Dear Darcus, A member of staff thought it would be hilarious to alter some customer details on the company CRM system. The customer in question subsequently received an invoice for £18,450 +vat, addressed to a, “Mr Moody c*nt with a ridiculous name.” Is there any course of action to take besides sacking the mindless…

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You’ve just been sacked……..Why not become a Ballet Dancer?

You’ve just been sacked……..Why not become a Ballet Dancer?

  Becoming a professional ballet dancer requires a hell of a lot more than simply sticking on a tutu and trying to stand on tip toe. The art form was invented during the Renaissance period in Italy so is therefore a million miles from the last job you had working in the credit control department…

Features, Unemployed ,

5 ways to tell if one of your colleagues has been out all night

5 ways to tell if one of your colleagues has been out all night

  You’re waiting for a member of your team to get in before you can start the morning meeting. It’s 08:59am and your line manager is already smacking his lips in anticipation of being bought a cup of tea by way of an apology from your late colleague. The individual in question, through a record…

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Sports Direct employees outraged at being secretly filmed watching MPs being secretly filmed

Sports Direct employees outraged at being secretly filmed watching MPs being secretly filmed

  Sports Direct have been asked to explain why they secretly filmed staff watching a hilarious video of members of parliament being secretly filmed during their lunch break.   A group of parliamentarians from the House of Commons Business Committee were covertly recorded having a meeting at the sports retailer’s Shirebrook facility in Derbyshire after…

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Letter of enquiry to GP – Police Dog Trainer

Letter of enquiry to GP – Police Dog Trainer

  DEAR DOCTOR, PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER IF THERE IS LIKELY TO BE ANY DELAY IN REPLYING Re: Prolonged Sick Leave Name: PC Dave Smith Address: 35 Cherry Tree Lane, Barking, Essex Dear Sir/Madam, To administer Statutory Sick Pay and the organisation’s sick pay scheme as well as planning the work schedule in…

Features, Human Resources

Toblerone Claims Empty Space is the New Chocolate

Toblerone Claims Empty Space is the New Chocolate

  The makers of Toblerone made the bold claim yesterday that empty space is the new chocolate.   The gaps between the chocolate bar’s triangular segments have been widened recently as manufacturers claim the popular snack was never really about chocolate in the first place. Mondelez International’s Head of Marketing Mrs. Honey Almond said, “The…

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McDonalds sue the Sistine Chapel for copying the shape of McFlurry tubs

McDonalds sue the Sistine Chapel for copying the shape of McFlurry tubs

  McDonalds is suing the Sistine Chapel for using the approximate shape of a McFlurry tub in the design for its main dome.   After several high profile spats with the Italian authorities this year over whether the fast food chain is an appropriate vendor to trade in the historic plazas of Florence and The…

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