Bendy Bananas officially, ‘not that bad,’ according to EU directive 666/2016.1

Bendy Bananas officially, ‘not that bad,’ according to EU directive 666/2016.1

  Bendy Bananas are back on the menu in Europe again as the Brexit Brigade celebrate record exports to our continental cousins across the channel.   UK food and drink exporters have been cashing in on our crumbling currency as exports of chocolate and other food stuffs the UK has no previous reputation for producing, fly…

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Worker representatives to be strip searched before leaving board meetings

Worker representatives to be strip searched before leaving board meetings

  The CBI announced yesterday that it would encourage the creation of worker representatives at board level, but only if staff agree to be strip searched before leaving board rooms.   There are fears in some organisations that by allowing lowly shop floor staff into board meetings to drink from the company’s posh china tea…

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Assessment of potential for promotion – Target Holder

Assessment of potential for promotion – Target Holder

Name: Simon  Li Job title: Target Holder Department: North Korean Army Cadet Firearms Training School Length of time in post: 3 full magazines and a change of underwear Date of appraisal: __20/__11/__16 Section A: Assessment of potential  Not fitted at present for further promotion  Not fitted at present but likely to become fitted within the…

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Tesco to build its own run down council estates on supermarket roofs

Tesco to build its own run down council estates on supermarket roofs

  Tesco has unveiled a radical plan to develop its own version of the run down, socially deprived council estate to try and generate extra funds.   The largest supermarket brand in the UK will build hundreds of high rise flats on top of the roofs of many of its stores and sprawling car parks…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Office brawl

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Office brawl

  Dear Darcus, A full scale office brawl has erupted between two staff members. Would it be sensible to break it up, or should I let them slug it out and smash ten piles of crap out of each other?   Dear Reader, In all honesty you will need to use your managerial experience to make…

Features, Problem Page ,

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Fascist Dictator?

You’ve just been sacked…………why not become a Fascist Dictator?

Unemployment throws up many challenges so you need to carefully consider what your next move will be if you’ve been unfortunate enough to get the boot from your old job. Along with suffering the humiliation of having to drink cans of Frosty Jack’s cider instead of your usual pints of Stella every day, it’s also…

Features, Unemployed ,

10 things to do on your daily commute to make the journey more bearable

10 things to do on your daily commute to make the journey more bearable

  Alongside the extortionate cost of having to travel between towns or across a large city, commuting provides other delights such as a lack of adequate seating on trains and buses, people talking loudly on their mobile phones about what they had for dinner last night and the sheer monotony of the journey. Fear not…

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Vladimir Putin shuts down LinkedIn after having his account suspended

Vladimir Putin shuts down LinkedIn after having his account suspended

  LinkedIn is no longer available in Russia after Vladimir Putin had his account suspended for being in breach of the website’s terms and conditions.   The Russian President had reportedly spent a whole afternoon choosing the right photo for his profile picture and eventually settled on one of him wearing Speedos whilst riding a…

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Camelot will purchase a lottery ticket to try and make up lost revenue

Camelot will purchase a lottery ticket to try and make up lost revenue

  Camelot announced it will be purchasing a lottery ticket this week in an effort to win back some much needed cash as ticket sales continue to fall.   The group has been running the National Lottery since 1994 and recently recorded a 6.3% fall in sales to £3.39 billion. Camelots’ Chief Executive Mr. Jack…

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The latest Apple product has less processing power than a ZX Spectrum 48k

The latest Apple product has less processing power than a ZX Spectrum 48k

  Apple appear to have completely lost the plot with their latest product launch that is targeted at people who have no desire to access the web, play games, stream media, store files, or do anything that you would ever need a computer for.   The tech giant’s latest offering even comes with its own…

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