Spoof business news

The latest roundup of what never happened in the world of business...

New Zealand’s beer drinkers face mass starvation due to national crisp shortage
17th October 2017

New Zealand’s beer drinkers face mass starvation due to national crisp shortage

  New Zealand’s beer drinkers face mass starvation as a result of the crisp shortage known as the “Chipocalypse”.   Up to a third of the country’s potato crop has been destroyed by ...

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Marks and Spencer will peg the price of Percy Pigs to the value of Bitcoin
16th October 2017

Marks and Spencer will peg the price of Percy Pigs to the value of Bitcoin

  Marks and Spencer has announced it will peg the price of Percy Pig sweets to the value of bitcoin in a bid to thwart the negative effects of Brexit on supplies.   A 170g bag of the ...

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IKEA launches a pre-destroyed furniture line for cats and dogs
13th October 2017

IKEA launches a pre-destroyed furniture line for cats and dogs

  IKEA has just launched a new collection of pre-destroyed furniture designed exclusively for pets.   The Lurvig furniture range, which means “hairy” in Swedish, made its ...

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eBay paid its 2016 corporation tax in selfie sticks
12th October 2017

eBay paid its 2016 corporation tax in selfie sticks

  The UK arm of eBay paid its corporation tax last year in selfie sticks even though its US parent had total revenues from UK operations of $1.32bn (£1bn).   The company declined to ...

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McDonalds to become a Chinese take away after the success of its Szechuan sauce
11th October 2017

McDonalds to become a Chinese take away after the success of its Szechuan sauce

McDonalds has announced plans to turn itself into a Chinese take away chain after the recent success of its Szechuan sauce.   Despite being on sale for only a single day, no product relaunch ...

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Dove Soap advert claims Keira Knightley used to be Mr. T
10th October 2017

Dove Soap advert claims Keira Knightley used to be Mr. T

  The latest advert for Dove soap makes the rather bold claim that actress Keira Knightley used to be Mr. T. before using the company’s product.   The advert shows Mr. T’s character ...

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Shops will accept supermarket trolleys as payment instead of new £1 coins
9th October 2017

Shops will accept supermarket trolleys as payment instead of new £1 coins

  Thousands of shops in the UK will ignore the Royal Mint’s deadline to stop accepting the old £1 coins and will happily receive payment in supermarket trolleys instead.   A small ...

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Natural History Museum interested in selling 2 Sisters’ out of date chicken
6th October 2017

Natural History Museum interested in selling 2 Sisters’ out of date chicken

  The Natural History Museum has expressed an interest in selling chicken from one of the UK’s largest supermarket suppliers after undercover footage revealed some of the meat was much older ...

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New UKIP logo rumoured to be from Bongo Bongo land
5th October 2017

New UKIP logo rumoured to be from Bongo Bongo land

  Ukip’s attempt to rebrand itself for the post-Brexit era has experienced a setback after its new logo was alleged by certain party members to hail from Bongo Bongo land.   The party ...

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Sex for sale at Poundland for a quid
4th October 2017

Sex for sale at Poundland for a quid

  Poundland has announced plans to start selling sex for £1 a go.   The new product called Nooky, follows the success of the discount retailer’s £1 bullet vibrator which became a ...

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